Why am I listening?

Because this is of interest to you – and I care about you.

That’s why we ask questions about what our partner, friend or co-worker is doing, reading, watching.  We demonstrate our care of and commitment to others by being attentive in ways that make them feel seen and heard.  And, it provides insight into who they are by allowing them to talk about what they are thinking – an essential ingredient for strong relationships.

When we care about others, we don’t dismiss what they are saying or doing simply because it is outside the domain of our interest or runs counter to our way of seeing the world.  We recognize that the health of the relationship depends on finding out how THEY see the world. And when you bring your authentic curiosity to a conversation that you initially assess as not being that interesting or worthwhile, amazing things tend to happen.  Often we surprise ourselves by learning something new or gaining a different perspective on a topic.  But the greatest thing that tends to occur is that the other person begins to express the same curiosity about you and your thoughts and dreams.  HA!  And that is what we all want and need.  So cool, so easy.

 

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