As I was in the process of cleaning out some of the photos on my iPhone recently, it became obvious that I take a lot of pictures of nature, especially the sky. This hasn’t always been the case. When I was younger, most of my photos were of people, specifically family, friends and me! I bet if I were allowed to take a peak at the pictures on my kid’s phones, I’d find the same thing.
This got me wondering why I am so drawn to those images that depict the vastness and beauty of the natural world? These were clearly available to me a few decades ago. Did I not appreciate them then?
Perhaps with each passing year, I get a bit more clear about where and how I fit in the big picture. Without realizing that I was in the midst of doing it, I became more comfortable with myself, and let go of trying to make others comfortable with who I am. To have moved from “How am I being seen?” to “How am I seeing the world?” is such a relief! There is a lightness to it, especially as I take those opportunities to step back to gain a broader view. (Which I do with increasing frequency through the lens of my camera) That doesn’t mean that I don’t still have those episodes of self doubt and feelings of inadequacy. Those remain daily occurrences. But they happen with less frequency, and often I can see them coming. Sometimes I am even pretty darn good at shifting the narrative I am carrying in my mind that is causing me see myself as “less than”.
When I experience the awesomeness of the sky and landscape, in all of its various iterations, I am reminded that I am simply a temporary, small inhabitant of this slice of the universe. Yet with this recognition that I am just a drop in the bucket, I also appreciate that the world would be much different without me in it. Makes me feel a responsibility to be the best version of a ‘drop’ I can be.