I can’t say that I had much of an appreciation for the different roles and varied concerns that a man and a woman bring to the dance until I paid closer attention to the wise words of my instructor. As we danced together on a very warm Monday afternoon, I attempted to be a much more attentive observer of myself – what I was thinking, feeling and how I was ‘dancing’. What was remarkable to me was the degree to which I was so concerned about
– am I doing this right?
– am I making this as easy on him as possible?
– do I look foolish?
To say that this mirrors the way in which I often find myself behaving day to day would be pretty accurate. For a woman who views herself as pretty self confident and bold, this was a shock! Was the way I danced with a partner a reflection of how I engaged with others off the dance floor?
According to my dance partner, men’s greatest challenge when ‘dancing’ with a partner is their ego. “I need to take charge”, “If I hold her tight, she will know where I am going”, “I must look like I know what I am doing”.
Does this resonate with your relationship with your significant other? How about at work – does this come up?